Psycho Clown “Ronnie” Fries

Worldwide repCorts continue to surge throughout the media of obese children, mourning over the execution of Ronald McDonald. The demise of the X Big Mac figurehead, to the globes’, largest fast food retailer, was humanely and legally murdered, in a Florida State penitentiary at 12 noon, yesterday. His ‘stay’ of execution was refused on the grounds of his flagging, lack lustre career and less than original promotion techniques.

After ‘throwing the switch’, Marshall Hilarie Ambrosia Turpentine, spoke of the charge levelled at the hapless clown, ranging from around 20 to 30,000 volts. Other charges included, ‘touching up’ kiddies, indecent exposure, taking sex hormones and eating Linda McCartney sausages full of salt, and saturated fat.

“Now, he’s ‘toast’, our couch potato society can feel safer, eating junk food, and all with just desserts, served,” he snorted.

The Governor of the ‘Meathook High Security Penitentiary of the State of Auburndale’ addressed reporters, speaking of his contempt of people, who disguise themselves as child entertainers, and then proceed to do degrading things, while in that position of trust and care.

X- Marine and Vietnam veteran, Mr Turpentine, was accompanied by a roomful of animal liberation activists, who watched McDonalds last few moments on the electric chair. One vegetarian applauded the slaughter of Ronald. Helen Gloryhole, described the disturbing manner in which the clown died.

“He kinda, looked more pale than usual, and his red nose melted. His hair stood on end, but he was still smiling, even when the smoke escaped from his arse, and came down his ridiculous trousers, and out, through his silly shoe lace holes.”

Unrepentant Ronald, charged with molesting children, executed, yesterday.

The next image may distress some readers. If it does, half close your eyes and think of cricket scores before looking at it.

The moment the ‘switch was thrown’.

Ronnie “Crusty” McDonald was born ‘The Great Marvo Dewdrop’, and grew up in a circus environment in Tucson, Arizona. He was spotted in an exploding car, by Donald Trumps’ personal hairdresser, who wanted to use him as a cardboard cut-out or inflatable doll.

Errant McDonald, became disenchanted with his boring and unconvincing image, and young customers started to notice his behaviour and attitude worsening. When arresting officers asked him about his lawbreaking spree, he resisted and screamed “ Have you tried our Double-Decker Half Pounder?” Other clowns like Coco, told officers, Ronnie was depressed at having to let school leavers get paid to serve Big Macs with eczema.

Defiant and Dangerous. Ronald, jaywalking in Blackpool England.

Here is the unspeakable pervert frightening customers in Soho, London.

The next picture is of ‘Ronnie’ short, for ‘Veronica’ (left) after undergoing ‘gender corrective surgery’ to remove his huge appendage. His cross-dressing while on duty’ became a common sight to McDonalds customers in San Diego. He was often seen in gay clown bars across the City.

Stress about his sexual preferences, promiscuity started to take his toll and led to chronic depression.

Here he is just before here he is the day he was admitted to re-hab at the “Clown and Out” clinic for stupidly dressed homosexual performers.

Ronnie after a hellraising career, before he was treated for manic depression, drugs, and too many late nights frolicking with ‘roughtrade’ gay men. (Traces of Cocaine still on his chin)

Ronnie caught on CCTV at a McDonalds pre-arranged, teenage birthday party, grabbing the ‘Birthday Girl’s’ ‘baps’. The manager of the UK Brentwood branch of McDonalds, claimed,“It was no longer in his hands”.

Ronnie gets arrested for doing disgusting things with a Chicken Bun.

The McDonald family, trying to put on a brave face after the death of the late Ronnie.

Ronnie’s brother Reggie was interviewed by Ghastly. When asked about his brothers’ grisly end, he said, “I hope there’s laughter in the hereafter, but, to be fair, he did start to act like a right twat before the end. You just couldn’t take him seriously.”

Jobless “Blind Date”, bint Cilla Black, with her uncanny resemblance to the McDonalds’ dead clown, is earmarked to be the next Ronnie McDonald. The Scouse sixties singer icon and ‘Surprise Surprise’ show host, is being groomed to sell the popular meaty treats, from next year. When asked about the proposal, she said, “We’re have a lorra laughs, and I get to use some different lippy too, and nick a few chips in the bargain, aimmm, supaiiirb, our kid.”

”Ronnie used to be my role model, luv, until he become dat mucky towrag dat did dat ta dem poor gayrrls. He did dooo dat doh, dint he, da dairrrrrrrrty pairvairrt?”

A sad figure below, Ronnie now with his plastic implants incinerated, reminds us all, that if you are not properly CRB checked, and decide to work with kids, you could end up with getting more than your fingers burned.

Ronnie Unplugged.

The service was better than expected and mourners were given a free coke and plastic toy, from socially inept teenagers, dressed in ill-fitting uniforms.